Time Again!

Well I think everyone will laugh at me, yesterday I lost it I just couldn't stop crying. I talked to my sister and cried almost the whole time. She tried so hard to make me feel better, but every time she would suggest something I would start to cry again.

When Ami and Curtis finally got home it was a little late for me to go out, and Ami saw me crying so I had to talk to her about it. I told her how I was feeling while crying the whole time, and she helped me to decide that I need more time to myself that I need to have more of a life than be stuck here all the time with almost no break.

I am going to try to go out again, this time I am going into Zurich and I want to go to a book store that we saw last time we went. Maybe walk along the water I don't know how long I will last before I need to come back, but I am planing to do my best.

A NEW WEEK!

Whew I made it through the weekend. I am not sure I totally made it intact, because right now the only thing I want to do is cry and be home with my family. I don't want Ami to see me like this its silly and I don't want her to think that I had a tough time with the boy's cause I didn't.

The weekend went fine I have no complaints. The boy's and I went swimming on Sat. they loved it. Mostly we just hung out here and went on walks around the neighborhood. We have a lot of parks around so it is fun to look for one that we haven't been on before.

On Sunday everything is closed, So we didn't do much. I would have liked to have gone to church but I can't drive the car, cause I am not on the insurance and I don't think taking three boy's on the bus into Zurich at 5pm all alone sounded fun.

Here I am again alone with the boys cause Ami had to go to therapy and I am trying to pull myself together. I know that I will be fine I am just ready for a break from here.

I just finished getting ready for my adventure to the airport mall, I even put on some makeup if you can believe it. I am not sure why but I thought that since I am going out and this will be the first time I have gotten dressed somewhat nice that I should go the whole way. I am a little apprehensive and excited at the same time.

I am much better now I am just being me Ha Ha!

New weekend!

This is going to be an interesting weekend. Ami & Curtis are going away for the whole weekend to Venice. They will be leaving tomorrow afternoon & won't be back until Sunday night.

It will be just me and the boy's. I am not worried about how it will go I have been running houses and bossing kids around for a long time. What I'm not looking forward to is all the time alone without another adult.

I am missing everyone right now soooo much, I think I need to take a break it's just that I don't like going or doing things all alone. Maybe that is what God wants me to learn while I am here.
This will be hard though, I am way too much of a home body. I do know that for my own sake that I should get out when I can even if I am alone.

Thankfully we found a church in Zurich its called International Christan Fellowship the web sight is( ICF.ch ). I can't wait to go I heard their are a few other Au Pair's (as they are called ) that are English speaking. It will be nice to make friends outside of the Brown's not that I don't enjoy them.

Thank God Ami is much better she talked with her sister, and the Blues, and they helped her put things into perspective. She also has made some good friends with the other wives of the team, she even got to go out the other night for a girls time.

I took the older boy's to go swimming today. I forget to pack a bathing suite so I usually sit on the side and watch the boy's, well today a life guard comes over and tells me that I cannot be in the pool area in my jeans and tank top I need to have a bathing suite. I tell him I don't have one, I could tell he was taking it over with the other staff, and they finally decide to let me this one time but warn me not to do it again. Then I take the boy's over to the diving boards which they love, after a little bit the boys want the noodles that are just on the side of the pool, they didn't have a sign over them and they weren't locked so I let the boy's have them thinking it was no big deal. Again I was wrong because before to long the life guard comes over and tells me that the noodles are only for swimming lessons. I came home and Ami and I had a good laugh over (Us Crazy Americans).

The Lord Is My Sheperd!

I have been reading a book about the Psalm 23 I have made it my prayer.

1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth
me beside the still waters.
3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of
righteousness for his name's sake.
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of
death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy
staff they comfort me.
5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine
enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth
over.
6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of
my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

The other day I went to Utliberg which is a high hill on one of the mountains. On the Hill is this tall tower that you have to climb ten flights of stairs to get to the top. Here I am in a foreign country climbing these stairs all alone. When I got to the top the veiw is amazing looking down in the valley. I am so humbled by God's beauty all around me. How can anyone doubt God!

I know that I am supposed to be here even if it is only for a short time. Ami is struggling having left everything behind. They do not have a home right now and they will never go back to the life they had before in the NHL she feels like everything is at an end and she has to start all over in a foreign country and then again when they get back to the states. All's she wants is the best for her children, and husband, but feels like she is being shelfish wanting to here old life back. How do I help her? I know that through prayer, but I see her crying and worrying and not sleeping and my heart breaks for her I want to be able to help her but I can't.
I just pray and listen and wait for God to give her the peace she needs.

A Routine of Life

I just found out that today would be three years since Aubri's death. That makes me so sad to know that this family went through so much pain an loss. Yet through God's help they not only have healed but have turned around a made a foundation to be able to help others that have gone through a loss. You can visit it at: http://www.theaubribrownclub.org/

To make life as consistent as possible we have tried to make a routine of sorts. On a normal day we get up around 8:00 am, we get the boy's breakfast then get them ready and pick up the house.

Usually Ami starts school next, but there are day's when I will do school while she goes to therapy and or the store. Yesterday she got to visit the Gym with Heli ( Heli is one of the wives of a player, they are from Finland and have no children, so she is alone alot. She is a sweet heart though) she said it is alot different than what she is used to, but still planning to get a membership.

We try to get the boys outside at the least once a day. We have a small apt. and I feel bad that they are couped up in the house. I will either take them to the park behind our house or on a walk.

Griffin goes down for a nap at 2 till 5 that leaves that time which Ami and Curtis try to do something fun with the older boys like bowling, or swimming, or just out with their dad to the sport store.

We usually eat late which means Ami doesn't even start to make dinner till 5, but she is a excellent cook and the meals are delicious. We eat as a family except for game nights, then we eat simple because Curtis isn't usually here.
After dinner we clean up, and Curtis and Ami just spend time playing with the kids until bed which is at 8 for Griffin and between 8:30-9 for the other boy's.

After they go to bed we spend that time emailing and talking on the phone and cleaning until we go to bed.

I will often watch the boy's for a few hours while Ami goes to therapy and or the store. Ami & Curtis got to go on a date the other night, I am so glad that they got to do that. If for nothing else than for their sanity. Though I know that they had a good time.

I know that it is very hard for Ami and Curtis to adjust to this life both for separate reasons.
The changes for Curtis are that he is playing only on weekends and occasionally on a Tues night. Which means that he is home alot more than he has ever been before. This is something new for the family, because before they were living such separate lives during to season. For Ami the changes are that we live in a small Apt. which is something that everyone is getting used to. I think it is hard for her cause it is so much more simple here than anywhere else she has every lived. She is also struggling with the fact that she wont be able to go back to the Sates until April.
She also wants the best for her boy's so is trying to find cheap (almost not possible ) and fun activity's that will keep her boy's occupied and entertained.

I know that God sent this family here for a reason, I don't know all that will be yet. What I do know is that even in the three weeks we have been here I have seen changes. My prayer daily is that they will be open to receive what God has for them, and at peace with it.

What is God's plan?

It seem that God is trying to say something. We have had something go wrong since we got here, and each time we get it settled something else happens.

First I didn't have my luggage for a whole week. It seems the Airline didn't send it with us when we left LA, and then they decide that its only worth $150 of there time. I thank God that it came though!

Second we didn't have our furniture, and still to this point don't. Who knows when its going to get here.

Third the Wii that Ami brought over broke, so we are going to try to send it home to get fixed. We looked in the store to see if we could buy a new one, only everything is in German. Ha ha that plan didn't work out too well.

Fourth Ami's watch went missing, and trust me when I say we looked for it everywhere. It is very sad that this happened mostly because it was a gift to Ami so it means alot to her, and it wasn't a cheap watch. I am still believing that it is going to show up.

Fifth just the other day the Swiss Authority's told Ami & Curtis that they may not home school there kids. When Ami talked to them she made it clear that she has a degree and has put alot of planing a effort and time into the curriculum. I believe the team manager looked into it and talked to them. Thank God we get a message back today that said they will let us school them this year, but then they will check up on us again next year.

Sixth today when they went to go get a toy for Griffin from the Toy store the gift certificate that they had was missing. We looked all over for that as well.

I am not saying these things to complain, but every time a new thing happens it is a little bit harder for Ami to take. Her life is very different here, and I think she is having the hardest time adjusting to it. I know that God has a plan and my prayer is that he will continue to guide this precious family.

MY AMAZING ADVENTURE!

Here I am out on an adventure that fell in my lap, how God weaves our lives is amazing!

I have now been in Switzerland for three weeks. I am not here for fun, but everyday is an adventure.

I am a nanny for three young boys ( Gage 5 yrs. old, Garrett 4 yrs. old & Griffin 1 yrs. old) who every day I am here I love a little bit more.

The first week was very hard for everyone with the time change, the family being from Cal. was now 9 hrs ahead and I was 6 hrs ahead of NY. I believe night was the hardest the boys woke up most nights for at the least an hour and Griffin cried in the middle of the night for a good hour to two hours. Finally they settled in and now are sleeping all night long.

Week two we are still waiting for our furniture to come, and trying to find things for the boys that would be fun. Let me explain about our furniture. We live in a 5 1/2 bedroom apt. that is on the 4th floor with no elevator. Our apt. is owned by a company that rents it fully furnished, however we don't have a desk that Ami needs badly, and some of the rooms don't have dressers so for the first few weeks I was living out of my suite case.
The guy from the company came and looked over all the things that we need, and said that he would get right on it. We are three weeks in and still waiting. All in Gods time though!

Week three we started to home school the two older boys, well actually I watch the other two boys while Ami schools. I think she is really enjoying it. We do need prayers though, because we just found out that Authority's might insist that we send the boys to school since they have applied for Visa's for two years.